As dad left to yet again stay the night as his girlfriends house, 'as though I have no importance in his life'; He makes sure I know what my "duty" is for the night. Oh yes, like I could forget that I have to clean the house. Not only clean, but scrub down. Usually I wouldn't mind such a task, since I have nothing of importance to do anyways... I just prefer to not clean up after grown men. He's not 70 and senile, he can take care of himself... Yet when I'm "home" on a vacation, I spend most of it cleaning & alone. Oh well, the silence isn't all that bad from time to time. Though I did have to hide my own rum from myself....
I got a phone call from my sweetie, what a relief to be able to not only talk to someone, but to keep my mind of all the depressing things that seem to wonder into my head when alone. We talked about everything, and nothing all at once. He really truly brightens my horizon. He hinted that he wants us to move in together when we're both done with school... At that moment I noticed how inescapably he completes me. Honestly scared me a little, to have that thought and a feeling at the same time... I'm not used to having feelings like this for another person, I can see myself truly falling in-love with him. Even thinking that possibility makes me wanna hide in a dark cave for eternity, I have never truly loved a single soul. Sure I love, but not like it's meant to be. Is that a normal reflex for the situation? I ponder whether it's real or not, it feels real... Yet I suppose I'm so used to abuse and heart break that I don't know what real is. I hope for sanity sake that it is real, and I have found 'the one'.
We want the same things in life, Joseph and I. Every time we talk the more we realize we think alike. Which could be a bad thing, but in this case I believe it's a good thing. Our personalities are opposite, but our thought pattern seems to be in sync. Which is great for decision making, wouldn't you say? I feel like such a sappy romantic fairy tale dreaming nerd right now, the way I am talking... I really feel like slapping myself right now.
Only time will tell... I'll leave this adventure to the hands of my future.
Saw snow flakes today, in Arizona of all places. Not northern Arizona, but the valley, I almost had a seizure from excitement! Haven't seen snow in about five years, and thought it would be a couple more before I do. Crazy right? I think so.
Well people of the masses that take your precious time out to read my stories, I am off to the land of cleaning... where all French maid costumes are half off and sex is not an option. Till next time.
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