There are five days left of my Winter Vacation. Spent most of it alone in an empty house... Kind of depressing don't you think? Probably why I keep staring at my half empty bottle of Rum; like it's my only family. Signs of a true alcoholic, sad that everyone in my family seems to be one. Fighting the temptation these last couple months have been agony, but I am worth more than what a bottle of alcohol can give me... Least that's what I tell myself.
The few moments I did get to spend with my family, guess what we did... Drink. Yes, family bonding at it's best. Sad that we can't even get together without opening a beer, or a bottle of liquor. Fun it may seem, but when that's all we do together, doesn't seem so great. If it wasn't for my boyfriend Joseph calling me every couple days, I honestly think I would have lost myself within the confines of a bottle, or two, or three. I put on this smile, a facade, make people think that my family is so great... Don't get me wrong they are, but we are so... How would one put this?!?... disinclined to one another's feelings or needs?!? I just can't let my family's name be torn by my distaste for how we are, which is why I paint such pretty pictures of our lives...
My parents have been divorced for 9 months now, mum has been re-married for 7. And she plans on having a child with the guy, that very well could be my older brother by 4 years. Weird as it may seem... I don't care. She left us, why waste my time hating her for that? For months I sat within myself loathing her every fiber; but what good did it do? It didn't bring her back, it only hurt her. Yeah she was a horrible mother; abusive, lier. I could sit here and list all the horrible things she put me threw, but that would not only waste your time, but mine as well. Lets just say I made amends with her, for my own sanity. You maybe reading this and go "wtf"... I have realized there's no point in tomorrow if you can't get over yesterday. So, with that said. I have forgiven her and befriended her. Not that she needs a "daughter" anymore, just a friend.
And as a new friend to my mum, I have apparently been appointed her therapist. I, her 23 year old "daughter" is giving her advice, helping her become a little less psychotic. Harsh you may think, if only you knew my mother... The saying a therapist always needs a therapist never rang more true!
Since October 17th I have been attending Fred G. Acosta Job Corps. Yes, I am living the dream... [hope you sense my sarcasm] Don't get me wrong, Free is always good in my book. Finally getting that High School Diploma I so devastatingly made the mistake of not acquiring, along with two certifications: Medical Office Support & Phlebotomy. Just one step closer to my intended goal. Life on campus isn't as horrible as I had imagined in my head, though sometimes I wish it were; imagine, your favorite soap opera but in real life. Yeah, not so glam is it? A little action here and there would be fun. The teachers seem to hate their lives, but put on this fake show that they give a crap. But what do I care right? I'm only getting my education there... Luckily for me, the days go by quickly; and by my surprise I am in the top 10% g.p.a of the entire school. *noise makers & hollers here* & you would think that would excite me right? False, it's too easy. I just want to work in a medical lab doing diagnostics, but the unfortunate journey there is... in lesser words, bull shit.
The kids at my school are typical when mixed with minors... Few people are worth my time, and those few are really close friends of mine. My boyfriend sticks out like a sore thumb, being Irish, gorgeous, and ruthlessly smart... yep the whole package. Girls hate me for being with him, not only because he's one of maybe five hot guys, but he's the only one of those five with brains. Maybe it's my bubbly personality that got his attention? .... Hey reading this you may not think I am, but I am.
Well, there is more to tell, but I believe I have given enough material for you to read. Feel free to scratch your head and try to figure out what the hell you just ingested into your brains. I will now go pray, and hope that tomorrow goes by very quickly so that I can see Joseph for New Years.
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